Who's boys are these?

It started out innocently enough, Orion had a cough. The cough continued and remained in him until he was gagging on it. He decide to start spitting it up and then came the screams from the bathroom saying "oh my god! Mom, there's green stuff everywhere! what is this coming out of me!"  Then I caught something for exactly 12 hours that had me laid out. Normally I would not be upset to have to lay around but then you also have to do the mom thing and get to feel like crap...Which is just awful and it's own brand of punishment.  So then, just last night, Lincoln comes into our room covered head to toe in some yellow-nasty-chunky-sickness. And wants to crawl up in my bed to snuggle. I don't think so! Number three is the worst because he has no idea why this is coming out of his tiny body or where it should go to. So it usually ends up hitting me in the face. Cut to 3 bed sheet changes and four pairs of pajamas later (not including my own), he finally calmed down long...

It started out simple enough. It's Saturday morning, which means soccer games and catching up on laundry, or at least restarting the dryer to take it out later. I wake up, see a chance to earn brownie points with the hubs and let him sleep in AND bring him breakfast in bed.Yeah, I'm cool like that! I let the dog out and get the younger boys up and make breakfast. Corbin (the oldest) had a sleepover at a friends, so I pick him up at 9:30, generously thank the amazing hostess for taking on my son and 4 others overnight--boy is she brave! I forgot to pack his game day uniform so he gets dressed in the car and we head over to the field. Corbin, Lincoln (the baby) and I arrive to find our field being used as a practice space for 3 other teams. I use my calm voice and get them to clear out. Meanwhile my husband is across town coaching Orion's game. I proceed to watch, blah blah blah....The day and its usual stresses happen. It averages out to 3 soccer games, 5 meltd...

I don't know about y'all but I love Christmas! It just reminds me of my loud crazy and wonderful family. Everyone getting together laughing and yelling...generally having a good time. And the food! Oh the food! Usually, when winter break rolls around I'm excited to have the boys home—at first. I get to play with them and surprise them with little Elfish things. And I love hiding presents from them then counting down the days I get to see the magic in their eyes as they open all their gifts. But that's all over people. Way over! Tomorrow they go back to school and I for one cannot wait! We had our fun and now it's done! Get these suckers out of here! And maybe I can finally have five minutes to myself to go to the bathroom, or browse through Pinterest projects that I'm never going to complete. I may even get some organization and some cleaning done...Nope, who am I kidding? I'm gonna sit around watch bad TV while eating Ninja-Bread cookies and leftover candy ...

Not all boys are as disgusting as you think...But mine is worse! No, really, there should be a new description of nasty in the dictionary with the picture of my third child!  Not only does he play in the trash, eats things off the floor, stick stuff in the toilet and then back out again, but he is fascinated with Poo!!!  It is unreal the amount of poop this child has come in contact with over the short span of his two-year life. No, not just his. Although, that is his favorite. I know what you're thinking. What is wrong with her? Why doesn't she keep a closer eye on her child? It's because this kid has to have been some sort of stealthy ninja in a previous life! Literally, I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth or apply a little bit of make up and I come out and it's like I've entered a tipped over Port-O-potty disguised as my living room. I believe we've touched base about how he likes to be naked, and stick his hands in his pants. Is there a doctor I can talk ...

"Sharks have two penises"—Corbin (age 5) This was one of the first facts my son knew about sharks, and blurted out to random strangers. No joke, he used to get in trouble at school for making "shark noises". Really he was just humming the theme to Jaws. This is in kindergarten we're talking about. There was a little girl who went home from school telling her mom that there was a real live shark boy in her classroom.  She was serious!  And so his obsession began along with calling himself Great White Corbin. I can't make this stuff up if I tried. It all began after we saw shark week that summer, right before kindergarten, when he was five years old...And his little brain was ready to soak up some knowledge. Well he loved it of course! He wanted to know everything there was to know about sharks and he thought he could become one when he grew up (hence the title Great White Corbin). We started collecting more rubber toy sharks then we had Hot wheels. We bought...

Tuesday: So this morning I woke up with a little bit of food poisoning from last night. My printer would not print off my assignments that I stayed up until 1am doing....but a quick stop at OfficeMax and it all worked out.  Had a really good day at school, gave a speech and presentation like a boss. Then the boys came home and we decided to do Halloween decorations on the front porch. That's when it started going downhill. The garage door wouldn't shut and I had a mini meltdown...yes, I called my husband and cried while he talked me through it. Pity party for myself. Wednesday:  It was mostly without incident.... Except for when Lincoln decided to eat dog food and flood the bathroom. Oh, and the boys had dentist appointments. Odie was all numb and bit the side of his lip and cheek so much, it is just raw! Also, I ran with scissors and cut my arm.  I'm so blonde sometimes. We also did FaceTime with Scott tonight, (which we do every night) except tonight all the boys s...

Today marks the first day of a full week of me going it alone. And so far I have to say...it sucks. I would never want to be a single mom! Just in the last 24 hours I shattered my ankle (not really) by kicking a giant metal dump truck in the middle of the night, found plastic ninja stars in the toilet, lost the dog then found him again, and just now little Lincoln decide to spill a massive cup coffee (that I desperately needed) all over my laptop and my earbuds, which only had one working ear piece....Doubt they work at all now. And don't judge me on having coffee this late. I've got schoolwork to do still.  The one good thing that did happen today was that I didn't have to cook thanks to my MIL, she took us out to dinner. And it wouldn't be a Werling dinner out if someone didn't throw up (Lincoln). This is going to be chaos. I predict you all will be seeing me on the news shortly. Headline: Crazy mom goes on the rampage!  I will break down, these kids will get the ...