Mom Quotes part one

Things you shouldn't have to say to your sons:

Hunny, don't spin the knife around!

Put down the poop!

Stop touching the puppy's wiener!

Keep the ninja stars out of the refrigerator.

No pooping on the dining room table!

Get the goldfish out between your toes.

Don't throat punch your brother.

Keep your hands off the (public) bathroom floor!

I didn't buy cubed cheese so you could stuff in R2-D2's leg!

Stop "choking with the Force"!

Stop being a robot and eat your dinner!

Get your hands out of your pants!

Get your hands out of your brothers pants! !

Get your hands out of your butt!

Seriously, stop touching your butt!

Don't wipe your hands on the dog.

Get your Bat-A-Rang off the table.

Comments

Mom Fail

Today I swept and mopped my floors just because I felt like if I were a good mom they would be cleaner. Last week I forgot to make my son a lunch for a field trip that required a sack lunch. Just yesterday, after my attempt at being helpful and taking food to a friend, my kids were literally playing in a street and were almost hit by a truck. Yikes! When you compare yourself to the mom with the cute Sperrys and the perfectly planned outfit, the one with the newest Michael Kors bag that has absolutely no toddler stains on it or a diaper within it. When you lack professional pictures of your happy family for every season. The judgment you feel is your own. It can tear you apart inside and has a power over you like nothing else. This mom thing is crazy tough! But you're doing it. You are. We don't have to be perfect people because we are loved by a perfect God and he loves our mess. He will love you no matter who you are, what you do, or...

LINCOLN DANGER WERLING

Not all boys are as disgusting as you think...But mine is worse! No, really, there should be a new description of nasty in the dictionary with the picture of my third child! Not only does he play in the trash, eats things off the floor, stick stuff in the toilet and then back out again, but he is fascinated with Poo!!! It is unreal the amount of poop this child has come in contact with over the short span of his two-year life. No, not just his. Although, that is his favorite. I know what you're thinking. What is wrong with her? Why doesn't she keep a closer eye on her child? It's because this kid has to have been some sort of stealthy ninja in a previous life! Literally, I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth or apply a little bit of make up and I come out and it's like I've entered a tipped over Port-O-potty disguised as my living room. I believe we've touched base about how he likes to be naked, and stick his hands in his pants. Is there a doctor I can talk ...

IT GETS GROSS

I know it's been a while since my last post. And I was actually starting to doubt myself and think I couldn't do this. I mean what if I run out of material? This was literally just running through my mind and then I glanced at the toilet paper roll and saw the most disgusting thing in the world! And then it hit me, I'm never going to run out of material these boys are disgusting. So just a warning, this one's going to be nasty. A while back, my youngest Lincoln was going through a phase. Probably the same phase most crazy toddlers go through. Naked time. He would usually strip down to nothing but socks and then want to stay that way for the remainder of the day. Needless to say this left lots of little "messes" for me to clean up. One in particular I will never forget. It was a quiet afternoon at home and the big boys were doing homework while I was using the restroom...Or possibly trying to save my sanity by locking myself in a tiny little room w...

Who's boys are these?

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