Single mom for the week

Today marks the first day of a full week of me going it alone. And so far I have to say...it sucks. I would never want to be a single mom! Just in the last 24 hours I shattered my ankle (not really) by kicking a giant metal dump truck in the middle of the night, found plastic ninja stars in the toilet, lost the dog then found him again, and just now little Lincoln decide to spill a massive cup coffee (that I desperately needed) all over my laptop and my earbuds, which only had one working ear piece....Doubt they work at all now. And don't judge me on having coffee this late. I've got schoolwork to do still.

The one good thing that did happen today was that I didn't have to cook thanks to my MIL, she took us out to dinner. And it wouldn't be a Werling dinner out if someone didn't throw up (Lincoln).

This is going to be chaos. I predict you all will be seeing me on the news shortly. Headline: Crazy mom goes on the rampage!

I will break down, these kids will get the best of me, Gma will be called. And this house will stay a nasty mess.

Scott where are you? Come back soon.

To be continued...

Comments

Mom Quotes part one

Things you shouldn't have to say to your sons: Hunny, don't spin the knife around! Put down the poop! Stop touching the puppy's wiener! Keep the ninja stars out of the refrigerator. No pooping on the dining room table! Get the goldfish out between your toes. Don't throat punch your brother. Keep your hands off the (public) bathroom floor! I didn't buy cubed cheese so you could stuff in R2-D2's leg! Stop "choking with the Force"! Stop being a robot and eat your dinner! Get your hands out of your pants! Get your hands out of your brothers pants! ! Get your hands out of your butt! Seriously, stop touching your butt! Don't wipe your hands on the dog. Get your Bat-A-Rang off the table.

Corbin the shark boy

"Sharks have two penises"—Corbin (age 5) This was one of the first facts my son knew about sharks, and blurted out to random strangers. No joke, he used to get in trouble at school for making "shark noises". Really he was just humming the theme to Jaws. This is in kindergarten we're talking about. There was a little girl who went home from school telling her mom that there was a real live shark boy in her classroom. She was serious! And so his obsession began along with calling himself Great White Corbin. I can't make this stuff up if I tried. It all began after we saw shark week that summer, right before kindergarten, when he was five years old...And his little brain was ready to soak up some knowledge. Well he loved it of course! He wanted to know everything there was to know about sharks and he thought he could become one when he grew up (hence the title Great White Corbin). We started collecting more rubber toy sharks then we had Hot wheels. We bought...

IT GETS GROSS

I know it's been a while since my last post. And I was actually starting to doubt myself and think I couldn't do this. I mean what if I run out of material? This was literally just running through my mind and then I glanced at the toilet paper roll and saw the most disgusting thing in the world! And then it hit me, I'm never going to run out of material these boys are disgusting. So just a warning, this one's going to be nasty. A while back, my youngest Lincoln was going through a phase. Probably the same phase most crazy toddlers go through. Naked time. He would usually strip down to nothing but socks and then want to stay that way for the remainder of the day. Needless to say this left lots of little "messes" for me to clean up. One in particular I will never forget. It was a quiet afternoon at home and the big boys were doing homework while I was using the restroom...Or possibly trying to save my sanity by locking myself in a tiny little room w...

Who's boys are these?

Search This Blog